With a cute tittle like that, who could resist picking the book up and start reading? Celia Rivenbark wrote 32 short essay about [mostly] parenting issues. The writer ‘attacked’ the garment industry (and all mothers who need to have their heads checked) for designing/creating thus dressing girls under 10 year old with skanky outfit. It’s heart breaking already for me to move my daughter from toddler clothes to little girl clothes. I was in Target to buy Davi’s kindergarten clothes last year and start panicking. I was pretty sure the area’s for girls age 5 or 6 but all I could see was clothes for age 18 at least. Super mini pink shorts with ‘Hottie’ written on the butt, skimpy skirts with glitters or lace (kind of Bratz-theme, isn’t it?) and not to mention trashy lookin’ shirts/dresses. I had to triple check to make sure that I’m in the right area. Then I found out that the ‘normal girl’ clothing is at the back, not in the easily-find middle area.

Celia also wrote a short essay about how a pain in the neck it was visiting Disneyland. I haven’t been there. I would have been like Celia herself, clueless about the ‘how to’ before you go to Disneyland (or while you’re there). These savvy moms would know the down low on every events at Disney. For instance, the early seating at Cinderella’s Gala Fest (psst… all girls will be wearing a princess’ costume, dya know that?). If you’re not good enough for Cinderella, you could also choose other [second best] characters’ breakfast. Still with the same deal: book early!

She went on and on ranting about her cluelessness in this first essay of the book, There’s Always Tomorrow(land): “If You Really Loved Me, You’d Buy Me Pal Mickey” (don’t you think the title’s just hilarious?).  The way she described her ongoing feud with her only daughter is so cute. The daughter wanted to do or have some things that other kids do or have (of course), mom’s disagree and tried to talk her way out of it with a smart ass comeback from the daughter. Too funny.

But after 11 short essays, I grew weary of it. Don’t know why. Feels like it’s a same thing over and over again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all into bashing fake people and all that. And Celia is a brilliant writer and humorist. I bet she’s a spunky Southern lady and fun to be around with!

To get a feel on her book, read here for an excerpt.