Too Sensitive to Criticize

I used to hate being criticized. Heck, who does? Even if the criticism wasn’t adress personally to me, let’s say to my country from somebody abroad (Indonesians or foreigners), my first reaction would be, “Well, your country is bad too!”, stomped my foot, pout, and cross my hands against my chest; instead of acknowledging the facts and accepted it.

It took a question like this to made me stop and think, “Why are [some]Indonesians so sensitive (and couldn’t take criticism)? Is it because you guys were oppressed too long under Suharto?” I do remember, back then, if you dare criticize him or his family or even somebody in his cabinet, either you’d vanish from the surface of the earth or some other consequences with the same level of threat. So yeah… probably our skin got too thin to be criticized.

Having moved to a different country with more openness, which in this case happens to be United States (yeah… yeah… I could hear those cynicals saying, “Sure… praise the US… hate your country… etc etc”), I was ‘forced’ to adapt better to criticism. My face still got red, but I don’t stomp my foot and pout anymore. I mean, if somebody told me I made a mistake or point out my weakness, that would mean that person does care and it’s for my own betterment.

It saddens me to see how unacceptable some people back home are to criticisms. I made a comment on a friend’s status in Facebook -”… nggak heran Indonesia dilabeli ‘negara teroris’ or ‘no wonder Indonesia is labeled as terrorist country…”- which had turned into a circle of stomping foot and pouting. From that short statement only, one could understand that was not the one that come up out of nowhere and be the first to call her that. It was an observation. Instead of seeing it as a healthy way of looking at problems, they foresee the criticism as mengorek luka lama or to pick on old wounds.

It is a fact that Indonesia is being called by the international media as a terrorist country. It is hurtful to me too. So what? Somebody started to bombarded me with, “Do you know that the country you live in has this and that not to mention this and that [and the list goes on].” Yeah… again… so what? The US does have terrorism too. It’s a public knowledge. Is it really that taboo to mention something that’s a public knowledge to Indonesians? These guys got so angry, sensitive like PMS women and started calling me names. ‘Pathetic‘ was among ‘the bitch who forgot about her home country’.

Is it because it’s a very delicate mater, religious, or more spesifically, Islam? Ayaan Hirsi Ali in her book ‘Infidel: My Life’  is right then, the major problem with Islam and its followers is THEY DON’T THINK THERE IS A PROBLEM.  I was going to quote the famous Ms. Rima Fauzi, but I couldn’t search that particular post in her website. Similar post written by Fitri Mohan is here.

A wise man once said to me, “If you can’t take criticism, go live in a cave. Or better yet, gro a thicker skin!”

My Big Dilemma of the Year: Listen to the Travel Warning or Risk the Kids’ Life?

Now that the Bali Bombers are dead (executed last night, or Sunday 11/9 at 00:15 am Indonesia time), I am regretting something. Not that I regret they’re dead, I solely believe they deserved it. But I’m regretting the fact that our family travel plan to go home to Jakarta was cancelled. This year, my plan to bring my hubby, children and my father-in-law to experience Jakarta and meet my biological family was demolished.

As you may know, Indonesia’s always been notorious with travel warning ever since… forever. Umm, let me take that back. Approximately since 1998, if I’m not mistaken. But as an Indonesian, living in Indonesia, in the capital city, Jakarta, I didn’t really see what the hoopla was about. When I was still a citizen of Jakarta, I used to feel frustrated to read about what the international media say about Indonesia, and more spesifically, Jakarta. As an insider, I don’t think Jakarta’s situation was a ‘red alert’ or as scary as they said in the news.

My attitude was forced to change a little bit when I married an American and now have two interracial children. I can no longer say, “Who cares about the travel warnings, it’s usually just to scare you away from going. Nothing bad would happened.” I bet that was not what the casualties from the Jakarta Stock Exchange bombing (2000), the Christmas Eve Indonesia bombings (2000), Bali bombing (2002), JW Marriott’s bombing (2003), the Australian embassy bombing (2004) or again the Bali bombing (2005) would like to hear. An by the way, those bombings were courtesy of the Jema’ah frickin’ Islamiyah. Which lead me to question, why doesn’t the Indonesian government ban J.I. like they do Ahmadiyah?

This year, I was being tested. We had planned, around May this year, to go to Jakarta as our annual family vaation. It was a Mother’s Day present from my kids to me that they’ll join me to go home (originally I was going alone). The excitement was built up, as I, as a mother of half Indonesian children, am longing to bring my children to the place I was born and grew up at. I made detailed travel plan and itinerary on places we’re going to. I wanted them to see and experience the difference of living, eating, studying in two places (Iowa, USA and Jakarta, Indonesia). I announced to all of my families and friends about this and promised to some to meet up and introduce the two parties. My mom was in tears when I called her to let her know about this and how she’s been longing to see and touch her grandkids. I was drooling over thinking all the food and drinks that I’ve missed. Everybody was so psyched.

Until the announcement of the execution came along, and sparked the travel warning again. Most intensively, from the Australian government:

 

We advise you to reconsider your need to travel to Indonesia, including Bali, at this time due to the very high threat of terrorist attack.

The Indonesian Government announced on 9 November that the three individuals convicted for involvement in the 2002 Bali bombing were executed on 9 November. The executions could prompt a strong reaction from their supporters such as demonstrations, acts of violence and reprisal attacks.

We continue to receive credible information that terrorists could be planning attacks in Indonesia. You should exercise great care, particularly around locations that have a low level of protective security, including where Western tourists gather such as beaches, bars, malls and other venues associated with foreign interests. We continue to receive credible information that Bali remains an attractive target for terrorists.

We are aware that many young Australian school graduates may be travelling to Bali in mid-late November and early December. We urge these young Australians and their parents, like other Australians, to exercise heightened caution at this time. Australians should register their travel with the Australian Government on www.smartraveller.gov.au and take out travel insurance.

If you do decide to travel to Indonesia, you should exercise extreme caution.

There have been recent arrests of high level terrorist operatives in Indonesia, but we assess terrorists are continuing to plan attacks. These attacks could take place at any time, anywhere, including in places frequented by foreigners. Previous terrorist attacks against Westerners in Bali and Jakarta indicate these areas are priority targets. You should take particular care to avoid places known to be terrorist targets.

Hubby and I got into a hot argument. I was trying to assure him that nothing bad would happen; that the Indonesian authorities made announcement that the threats were just a hoax. Tried to assure him that by the time we got there (late November), those three men would be a dead meat and the situation would winding down. He went berserk. He asked me is I was a 100% sure, that I thought the political experts were just making the travel warnings up and that I would risk our children’s life. That’s when I stopped and finally regain my rationality. Do I really want to risk their life being bombed, kidnapped, or even slightly injured in this situation? Just because my kids don’t look white at all, their father is (along with my father-in-law), and that they both have a big target on his back.

I apologize to families and friends that we can’t meet up with you guys. Melly and Juinita, sorry guys. Maybe next year when I go home alone. Now that we have everything booked for Thailand, I just found out that those bastards were executed and [for now] everything seems to be okay. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Would you go to a place where some people hate you because of your nationality? Let’s say you have a family in Baghdad or Rwanda, would you go there with your spouse and children? Or are we just whimps?

So You Think You Can [Do Indonesian] Dance?

One of my guilty pleasure TV show is So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD). This summer was its fourth year, and I’ve been following it religiously from the get go. What I admire the most from this year’s season was its diversity. They added Bollywood, Argentine Tango, Pas de deux, Country two-step, and Russian Trepak into the routines. It’s a nice break to watch something else other than ballroom’s salsa, quickstep and jive.

The show this year was pack full of respective choreographers. The usual ones (not less important) like Mia Michaels, Jean Marc Genereaux, Tyce Diorio, and Mandy Moore were mixed with new ones like husband and wife Tabitha and Napoleon D’Umo (hip hop), Nakul Dev Mahajan(Bollywood), Sonya Tayeh (jazz), Desmond Richardson and Dwight Rhoden (ballet). The result was a collection of outstanding and diverse dance choreographies; danced gracefully by the Season 4 dancers.

Closer to the finale, the routines were getting ‘crazy’. New dance styles were introduced, for instance: Bollywood, Country Two-Step, Pas De Deux, and Trepak. The dancers were at first struggling with these new stuff; because you can’t just dance something that belongs to other culture, you have to ‘get it right’. The dancers tried not to get a ‘Look at those Americans trying to dance our dance’ from a native Indian or Russian. They have to do the kick right, or the ‘Indian eye glance’ correctly. The dancers did not disappoint at all. At least not me.

On the last night of the show, where they announced the winner, all judges got a chance to pick their favorite dance number and watch it again. Among the others, Bollywood was chosen by Nigel Lythgoe (judge and producer). I was pleased to hear this, regardless if this is a ’scheme’ or not.

Then I pondered, if Bollywood could get exposed, why not [one of] Indonesian dances? Question is, how familiar is the audience and TV viewers with Indonesian dance? More specifically, which Indonesian dances is well exposed to the world? Balinese, Sumatran, or Javanese dance? I’d say the first one, probably Janger (performed sitting down, with highly coordinated hand, shoulder, and eye movements) or Kebyar (fans on one hand, they move dramatically while feet are strongly grounded, and hands and feet move abruptly).

I know for sure, that Indonesian dance is not that foreign here in the US, or even in Indonesia. When I was still back home, I heard a lot of foreigners were learning Indonesian dances at various institutions primarily in Bali and Java. While here in the US, a lot of our Indonesian student organizations (Permias) were able to host ‘Indonesian nights’ or some other form of Indonesian cultural events. Plus, our Indonesian embassies are also good in doing their job promoting our culture, dance is one of them. Indonesian dance and music could also be found through the education world, such as University of Wisconsin in Madison, the Center for World Music in Berkeley, Calif., and at the University of Hawaii. Other than the ‘formal’ institution, there are also dance centers such as this place.

So why is Indonesian dance not well known? How can we help Indonesian dance be more recognized?

Update on Fly Safe(r) with Indonesian Airlines: Adam Air’s Done?

I had a funny feeling that this is going to happen when I wrote this posting. Didn’t expect it’s going to be this fast. But it is confirmed now, since Tuesday this week, Adam Air is grounded. Literally. Full story is here.

Sure hope this news will bring a relieve for the family of Adam Air’s 102 victims (New Year 2007 incident). It may not bring them back to live, but it’ll prevent this unreliable airlines from taking more lives.

Fly Safe(r) with Indonesian Airlines?

As mentioned in my previous post, Visit Indonesia Year program is happening this year. So many skepticisms, doubts, and concerns are twirling around this program. Which understandable, I think, considering a series of unfortunate events (outside the political/religious issue) that were effecting Indonesia. One of those unfortunate events is the undependability of Indonesian airlines. Remember when an Adam Air jet plunged into the sea off Sulawesi island on January 1, 2007? Killed 102 on board. Also a Garuda jet crashed in Central Java in March of the same year with 21 dead. Which exactly why the European Union (EU) had to ban all Indonesian airlines, including national carrier Garuda Indonesia (since 2006, if I’m not mistaken). This is not good for VIY program (or Indonesia’s tourism industry in general), if Garuda can’t come in or out to the European countries.

Transport Minister Jusman Syafii Djamal said that Indonesia will try to accelerate the revocation of the ban by proposing a ‘fast-track programme’. That’s why just recently, during the Singapore Airshow, Garuda Indonesia (state-owned) purchased 10 Boeing 777-300ERs airplanes worth 2.3 billion dollars; while low-cost airline Lion Air acquired 56 Boeing 737-900ERs worth about 4.4 billion dollars. Garuda president director, Emirsyah Satar, said that following the order, Garuda was planning to open new routes to European and U.S. cities, beside being an attempt a push to lift the ban.

While it’s not bad to dream big by aiming the international flights, I personally think our Transport Minister should take care the domestic ones too. To satisfy local customers is as important as pleasing the international ones. Adam Air’s crash opened the year of 2007 with a bang, a Mandala Airlines crashed after take off on Sumatra island in 2005 (143 fatality), a Garuda Airbus crashed into a jungle-covered mountain slope in Sumatra and killed all 234 people aboard. Two months later, a Silk Air jet crashed into a river on Sumatra (104 fatality) –source.

And please, other than buying new(er) prototype of the airplanes, make sure the other elements in ensuring global aviation safety and prevention of accidents are maintained. Be it frequent maintenance for the airplane, worker’s training, or maintaining the safety of the runway. I, too, want to feel safe flying within Indonesia -as a local, an Indonesian- just like a foreign tourist. Don’t we have the same right?

Indonesian Nannies

Due to bad winter weather we’ve experienced here for the last two weeks, my six year old daughter had to miss school a number of times. They completely closed the school three times in the past two weeks, delayed for two hours twice and had to dismiss early a couple of times. Even though she’s only in 1st grade, and not missing too much studying, I’m on the other hand is the one who’s missing a lot of work hours. I have to stay home with her, and as much as I love it, my pay check will be affected. Up until yesterday, I didn’t know that my son’s daycare is able to do ‘drop ins’ for siblings. But they’d need her recent physical report from her pediatrian and also her list of immunization, aside of a short form from the daycare. I’m working on that. They couldn’t guarantee 100% there will be openings, but parents are more than welcome to call the morning of, to see if there’s opening for her to stay in her brother’s daycare when school is cancelled. And of course, with an extra 30 dollars a day.

The hassle of all these made me miss the good ol’ day back home in Indonesia. Since daycare is not a common concept back home, at least not when I was growing up nor in the early years of 2000, a child stays home with a family member such as grandma. Also common in Indonesia (particularly the capital city Jakarta) where most family with children has in-house nannies or baby sitter or suster (which means nurse, in Bahasa). Unlike the baby sitter concept in the Western countries, these ones live with the family and their job is to mind the child(ren) only. Other household chores like cleaning or cooking is not her job unless it’s related to the child(ren). Pembantu or servant does the rest of household duties. Surprised that a family in a developing country (though some would categorized Indonesia as a poor country) could afford a servant and a nanny? Don’t be. They’re not paid as well as their ‘colleague’ in the Western countries, unfortunately. As a matter of fact, it’s probably safe to say that they’re underpaid.

Dressed in white uniforms, most susters do not have any formal nursing background. Theoretically, they’d get a basic child care training before start working. While for the baby sitters or nannies, mostly young ladies who are not as ‘qualified’ as the susters. They’re probably a family member of the pembantu (servant) who’s already ‘established’ and staying with the family. Or somebody they know from kampung (village). This is the common method of finding a nanny. Other option would be to call the ‘penyalur’ or agent, with a risk of getting a complete stranger.

A mom with two children and two nannies or susters in a mall is not an uncommon sight. Are Indonesian women really that spoiled? Well, yes and no. [1] Yes, because like I mentioned above, nannies or susters are underpaid yet they are required to take care of the child mostly all day. They usually ended up doing the other chores outside caring for the children. I’ve seen this so many times. And taking the nanny to mind your child so you can focus on the shopping at the mall is really a sign of a spoiled woman. [2] No, because it was probably the mother’s intention to take the nanny out to a mall as a treat (while still taking care of the child). The chance for the last reasoning is probably 20%.

Just like in the movie The Nanny Diaries, one could see them at preschools or schools (elementary, that is), waiting for the bratty kids. Mostly ended up as the backpack carrier while the kids spend their allowance money on jajanan or snacks/candies. The mall is also a common place where nannies would be seen. Other place that I could think of would be around the neighborhood. Ganging up together, gossiping about how bad they’re being treated at home, or talking about the cute walking-amateur photographer who’s doing door-to-door offering service to mostly nannies or house maids.

It’s not strange to see nannies or susters with a bowl of food trying to hand/spoon feed the kids. Normally, a child is being hand/spoon fed until they’re about 8 or 9 years old. This feeding time is usually given after the kids got up from nap time, they’d be given mandi by the nannies (mandi is a term in Bahasa; comes from ‘kamar mandi’ which means stall shower. Indonesians do not have the Western shower system, the way Indonesians take ’shower’ is by scooping the water using a laddle or gayung from the water tub, pouring the water over the body and hair to clean it, lather up with soap or shampoo, then pour the water again to wash it off). I love this afternoon ritual because I could play with my friends and eat the street vendor’s food (jajanan) who’d park their bicycle or push cart in the corner near my house. Oh, and to watch those nannies chasing after the kids with a spoon of rice on her hand.

VIY 2008: A Tough Task?

To improve the country’s tourism industry, Indonesian government launched Visit Indonesia Year (VIY) 2008. The goal of this program is to attract seven million foreign tourists and earn US$ 6.4 billion in foreign exchange. Too optimistic? Maybe. But it sure is needed. Indonesia’s tourism has been in ‘coma’ for too long. One of so many reasons is because most embassies are making a mountain out of an ant hill when it comes to Indonesia’s travel warning. Other than that, there’s bird flu, tsunami, earthquakes, or mudflow,  that scare people away.

Like Albert Einstein said, “Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.” And so did VIY 2008. The first was about its campaign slogan blunder. The original one “Visit Indonesia 2008 – Celebrating 100 Years of Nation’s Awakening” was criticized because it was ’gramatically incorrect’.  After John Aglionby ranted about it in his article ‘Catchy Slogan’ published in the ‘Financial Times’, it quickly changed to “Celebrating 100 Years of National Awakening”. But it was not quick enough. Indonesia was a laughing stock. From news media to bloggers, all were pointing at how awkward it must be to take the slogan off of various promotional items, such as the national aircrafts, posters, etc. It was a huge mess. Personally, I’d be very forgiving to such mishap. Heck, I probably would do the same mistake, being wasn’t born with English as my mother tongue; nor raised and educated with English as the primary language.

Others attacked the ‘National Awakening’ part. A posting at Lonely Planet’s forum asked how would a foreigner know what’s the meaning of it. How would they know anything that happened 100 years ago in Indonesia that caused a national awakening? It was the Budi Utomo movement, you said. Budi who? they continued. It does sound rather patriotic, and Indonesians are. But to catch potential foreign tourists’ attention, I wish they’d use a shorter, simpler, and easy to understand slogan.

Then people bitch about the TV commercial teaser. They were saying that it made Indonesia looks like tribemen country. That it was showing things that tourists wouldn’t [wouldn't be able to] do; like when a dark tribeman (Irian?) was rowing his boat at night. Come on… would you rather see shopping malls? A lame almost naked gorgeous woman was getting a massage just like in any other tourism commercials? Or a couple was having a candle light dinner? I appreciate the idea of showing so many diversity in Indonesia. So colorful (the Toraja men with the famous stone jumping). So pretty (the Balinese dancer). So intriguing (yeah… what was that guy doing with his boat in the middle of the night?).

The timing of VIY this year was sarcastically praised. A blog I read mentioned that Indonesian government was brave enough to compete with bigger events such as Beijing Olympics. With all seriousness, if we were to wait until there’s no other big events going on in the world, when would it be? Oh for heaven’s sake…

But like my favorite Indonesian proverb says, “Anjing menggonggong, kafilah tetap berlalu” or translated in English as ‘the dogs are barking, the caravan moves on’ meaning ‘useless protest, criticism, or sarcasm’. With all attacks coming from left and right, VIY 2008 carries on. Whether the infrastructure is up and about or not, whether the capital city Jakarta’s air is still polluted or not, whether the government is still corrupt or not. It’s my country. For better or worst, I’m right behind you.

So pack your bags, get your passport, bring your open-minded attitude, and buy your tickets to visit Indonesia. Who knows, you might be the first person in your town who ever see an orangutan or komodo dragon in their own habitat, not in a zoo. Or you could go to one of 17,000 islands that might disappear in the near future due to the global warming. You might entitled to boast to Bizarre Foods’ Andrew Zimmerman after you tackle eating durian, cow’s brain, or drink jamu.

VIY 2008 official site.

Suharto is Worsening, the End of Hope for Trial?

In the car with hubby on my lunch break today when the National Public Radio (NPR) announced that Indonesia’s former president, Soeharto (the Indonesian spelling) or Suharto, is not doing very good. “He’s suffering from organ failure,” they mentioned. “Oh no,” I said. “It’s that good or bad?” hubby asked. “Well, I know this may sound mean, but no, it’s not good because he’ll never be on trial,” I said. With that, the NPR announcer continued in explaining who Suharto is (or was) and what he had done in the past to be considered worthy to be on trial.

Suharto got himself the president title with a military coup d’etat in 1965. Ruling Indonesia for 35 years fiercely (anybody who opposed him or became his enemies were mysteriously disappear or ended up dead), he was also a big corruptor. His family had done too much nepotism in our country when he was in charge. Schoolchildren were fed lies about Indonesia’s history about the beginning of his dictatorship until that day he was forced to resign in 1998. He also controlled the media. If one should dare write something bad about his family (notoriously called ‘The Cendana Family’ -Cendana is the name of the street where he lives), somebody would definitely get fired. Or if the media is not big enough, it’ll get shut down.

I understand that he’s also a human being, and seeing a picture of him lying on the deathbed; pale and whatnot, it’s pretty sad. I should also say that during his ruling, things were much more peaceful compared to now. Our economy was also more stable. I can still remember those days where the exchange rate was only 2,000 rupiahs for 1 US dollar… But I was hoping to see that Suharto would be brought into trial; not only for the corruption, but also for human rights violation, especially the Trisakti tragedy which followed by the 1998 riots. They’ve been trying for 7 years, but Suharto’s health’s been keeping him away from the court.

Will it be Augusto Pinochet all over again, or would the injustice continue as Suharto’s losing his battle against his health?